i first fell in love when i was college and it was my first but it�s not
much of the story out of it..i�m more like clumsy state those days
never know what to do so i ended up losing up my first love of my life
like i said it�s not much of the story...
i
mostly like woman in my admiration to their soft and tender quality but
rarely i really like neither one nor fell in love with my admiration
for them. women's who sometimes i came across almost have the same
impression about me as being a "stuck", "arrogant", "too descent" or
something out of nowhere but when i start talking, laughing and make
jokes then they will find me as the opposite of their impression as a
"fun", "kind", �sweet" and "comfortable" man to be with. well you can't
judge the book by its cover, right?
in my years
of finding someone whom i want to spend with, i bumped with my school
days crush which i really really really really liked til this day, well i
just found her in facebook and i thank god for the great technology and
the social network that put people together!.
we
have our time chatting and i convinced her to bring her home but i
plotted to take her in sea side which we spend time at the beach wall
talking and sharing laughter. there this one time when im going to pick
her up at the resort by 7:00 pm but ended waiting for her to finish
their fairwell party around 11:00pm as we head home driving with my
bike, she suddenly asked me �why im being so sweet to her� and embraces
me which i longing, i know she�s just driven by alcohol so i just
answered her that �this is the way i�m always been� and the very same
night after i dropped her to home, she accidentally kissed me which
should be a �beso-beso�, i�m gone bizarre and all the angels came down
playing their trumpets and their songs until i get home to my bed and
still thinking about it when i fell asleep. then almost every day i
take her home and convey her to duty when my schedule is open and after
her work in hospital and my duty in health center we go to any place i
haven't gone to since she knows every part of daet and we will spend
time with each other sharing stories and laughter as we remembered our
school days and our duty experiences.
the day when i
found out that she got a boyfriend is when i begin to crumple but became
hopeful when their relationship is in jeopardy for some reason. i
started asking about her boyfriend and she tells me a lot of good things
about him. there are times that i said bad things about the guy in my
views but she ended up defending him. we still tag along and go out
together in the passing weeks and not one day i never said that i love
her and i really wanted to marry her but replies me with her cute smiles
and joyful laughter as she blushed away. some days had pass by and i
felt bitterness when i�m her side. the last time we gone out together, i
said that �one of this day, you will leave me�, i said many things to
her that moment that i wished i should not have. with teary eyes she
wiped as her excuse is some dust blown to her, i couldn�t bear to see
her cry so after she came back to the rest room, i just make jokes and
things just to make her smile. and the next time i invited her to go out
with me she replied that she�s going to do something else or too busy
at the next. i became furious about it and said many things because she
doesn�t want to go out with me and some time i just realized that it�s
my fault then i just understand her situation as she is in relationship.
so i just go by to her every time i go to my duty, give her some
chocolates/flower and hug, to see her is just a new breath to me but the
reality is, �i must let her go�. i have done the unthinkable which i
oath never to do.
to that day, i never felt love
for my life and so i can love another. i used to call her �monamei� in
sweet terms which she rephrases as �monaliza marabe� and say to me that
�only friends that i can offer to you� but she gave me more than friends
or love between us. she loved me even she denies it.
i still love her and that bond can never be shattered.
i.gonzales
No comments:
Post a Comment